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Monday, August 27th, 2007
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7:46 am - monday, bad day.
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A bad start to the day and week.
This morning my stomach decided to wrench me from deep sleep and i was successfully jolted out of bed with sharp needle-like pain. The only thought in my mind was, "I need to use the toilet!!!!!" only to find out that my father had beaten me to it. Every three seconds i hobbled back and forth between my room and the kitchen clutching my stomach, hoping that my father would suddenly develop an acute inner witness that would enable him to intuitively sense that his own flesh and blood was suffering because he was taking an extraordinarily long time to get ready.
But no such luck. Life is cruel as such. The door remained closed.
Fine. Then i decided i wanted to wash my hands. I don't know why. Perhaps i was desperate for a distraction of some sort, any distraction to help take my mind off the pain, which of course wasn't really possible. OK so i went and poured liberal amounts of Dettol Hand Soap on my palms and with vigour, went through the Seven Steps for Hand-Washing to most effectively get rid of germs.
Without thought, i turned the tap on. But there was no water in the kitchen tap. In my mind-boggling agony, i forgot that my father had shut the water supply to this tap cos it's leaky. Again my father! AHHHHH! Rebellious stomach with occupied toilet AND NOW SOAP-GREASED HANDS WITH NO WAY OF WASHING OFF THE SOAP. I thought getting ready for school in general was bad enough.
Monday, you are not my day.
current mood:  aggravated
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| Friday, August 24th, 2007
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9:19 pm - genes and society
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Ever since i was a polly-pocket toting girl of tender years, many have commented that i resemble my father in appearance. I mean, i've come to admit that this supposed fact mayn't as dismal as i first thought...My father wasn't all that bad-looking when he was a young man (very young), and even right now at the ripe old age of 56, he remains as thin as a stick and has relatively thick, black hair. But as much as i wish it were true, i'm not in the least skinny and unfortunately, the sad fact remains that i don't have boys clamouring over each other to help carry my 4kg laptop. This is quite unlike my father, who insists that, in his time, he didn't have to make the effort to know girls at all! They just flocked to him.
OK, but looks aside, i'm horribly afraid that i do take after my father after all, in a very stark, sad way.
I'm perpetually pessimistic and/or upset and/or depressed and/or tired.
Like my father, i'm a person of no possibility. Remember Anne? I'm not sure in which of her books did this come about, but LM Montgomery mentioned that there was something about Anne...something different, something extremely special - Anne is full of possibilities. When you spend a moment with her, you feel uplifted, and somehow, you find that life is not entirely unpleasant and without hope after all. Ahh, Anne Shirley, the perfect testimony of God's goodness.
OK, but i can't spend the rest of life pessimistic, upset, depressed and tired, because after all, i'm a mere 22 years old and there may be 50 long years for me to go through before i finally see paradise! So, following ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) misterritz (let me know if you want to remain unnamed, i'll remove this link speedily), i really must at least try to overcome my predisposition to such negativity, even if i have to try harder than other people with superior genes! Plus, i have God, so life really ought not be that bad if i start counting my numerous blessings.
current mood:  okay
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, August 10th, 2007
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9:13 pm - school starts in 2 days :'(
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| Thursday, July 26th, 2007
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9:06 am
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| Wednesday, July 18th, 2007
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4:15 pm - phantom of the opera
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I like the Phantom's story. It is awe-inspiring to see the Phantom's strong, commanding presence. Still, the musical overshadows the storyline - Andrew Lloyd Weber composed the music while Charles Hart wrote the words to them. Though i can neither personally identify with Christine, or the Phantom, or Raoul, the lyrics are sincere and fitting, the music paints vivid pictures in your mind. I have listened to the different versions of the Phantom of the Opera a zillion times, i think. Taryn shared her love for Phantom by passing me a copy of the songs. <3 Thanks!
I love the theme song (titled "Phantom of the Opera", big surprise) and "Think of Me". Lyrics available when you click on the titles.
Phantom of the Opera
Think of Me
current mood:  enthralled
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 13th, 2007
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10:05 pm - ubin: the simple life
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| Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
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12:43 pm - with much love and gratefulness
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Thank you. I don't regret any of my 22 years because i'm so lucky, so enviably blessed, to be able to cross paths with all of you, my very dear friends. Thanks for the presents, well-wishes and warm thoughts, but most of all, for the time spent on creating moments of precious friendship.
current mood: optimistic
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| Friday, July 6th, 2007
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11:26 pm - just pictures
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| Thursday, July 5th, 2007
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12:30 am - parting
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is sweet sorrow. We'll see you again :)
Just like i'm sure i'll see Jolene again.
What struck me was, how grown-up we're all becoming. Each of us reaching out for the stars, our own personal stars taking us away from one another. I guess they don't "take away", because though in distance we are far apart, in spirit we get closer. Magdalen, whom i dearly miss and who, because of her stars, is not coming back this July, and i have become best-er friends. (I hope she feels the same!)
Byebye Yiwei keep safe and grow like we (i) can't in Singapore.
The Lord be gracious to you and makes His face shine on you.
Till we meet again!
Beach today under the hot sunny sun, i love the sea side (and the great company) but no need to wax lyrical anymore, you get the point!
current mood:  relaxed
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 29th, 2007
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10:08 pm - sunshine n rain
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| Saturday, June 23rd, 2007
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6:54 pm - living life and seeing good days :)
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My bedroom is my favourite place in the world. If a bathroom were thoughtfully added, i see no need to leave my room at all. With my door shut all the time, i get the utmost privacy i crave. That is why, when i spend long periods of time away from this special hiding place, i feel homesick.
I got to spend one whole day communing with my room today! It was very comforting and soothing because since the exam period, i was able to spend only snatches of time in this special place. It was quite unforeseen though. I was supposed to embark on an exciting biking trip around Pulau Ubin (an especially long awaited one) but my friend was ill and i had just recovered from a fever and flu myself. Subjecting ourselves to treacherous, unknown terrains and huge swarms of blood-sucking insects is not the wisest thing to do. Nevertheless, treacherous roads and hungry mosquitoes aside, I've resolved not to miss any other opportunity to explore Ubin.
Pupillage application begins in a week, but i have yet to open the pupillage directory. Sigh, wicked inertia. Instead, i've read the Alchemist, which is very inspiring and good, but confusing at some parts. What does the Soul of the World refer to, in real life? But it is very encouraging when reminded that each one of us has a personal legend to live, and we go through different stages in pursuit of it, if we decide to pursue it at all. Jolene and i used to spend hours figuring out what our purposes in life were, and we'd end up looking at each other in dismay because all we like to do is to watch DVDs (she, not me), go online (me, not she) and eat, read and sleep (we).
Life has been very full recently, leaving no time for negativity and depression, only bright spots and sunshine-filled days. Thank You Lord. If only wishes could come true, i would wish that happiness isn't ephemeral, or so hard to find.
current mood: cheerful
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| Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
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10:15 pm - lovely people from God above
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I have very, very kind friends. They make the world bright and bearable to live in, i catch glimpses of God in their thoughtful acts. :)
Thank you! For
- Having us over at your house and cooking dinner and turning a blind eye to our terrific mess and for giving in when we forced you to watch witchcraft horror shows.
- Showing me that you need me by taking me into your confidence. Finally you are taking instead of giving.
- Remembering me on your exciting travels to the ends of the earth (In particular, China, Greece and Sweden)
- Passing me a not-so-legally burned CD full of awesome songs while you cut one for your mentor.
- Coming by my house for frank heart to heart talks and making your way down to raffles place just for lunch. For those free lunches too.
- Being social and easygoing about meeting new people.
- Messaging and calling to show you care.
Sometimes life is made worth it because of delightful people :)
current mood:  busy
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, June 4th, 2007
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11:52 pm - MY piano player
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| Thursday, May 31st, 2007
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12:08 pm - a tangled web
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It ends in one day.
Work makes me misanthropic.
Yet i've met wonderful people,
Grown closer to already close friends
Alienated people who weren't.
When i'm myself i feel i like to be with people
When i'm with people i want to be alone
I've heard Magdalen say this before
And i've always wondered why. Why?
People are fascinating.
I love to spend hours thinking
Of people.
What touches them, makes them feel,
What makes them beautiful,
What makes them ugly.
Too much fiction? Maybe.
Quite a Tangled Web indeed.
Life is so surreal!
current mood:  curious
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 27th, 2007
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11:21 pm - alone, perfectly :)
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twenty-seventh may, just me and my Lord
calm, tranquil, lovely aloneness
i love this carefree solitude.
didn't serve today. woke up early and popped some pills to cure my painful tummy and i am as fit as a fiddle! initially wanted to join my really nice and caring friends from childrens church for 3rd, but i couldn't make it, so 4th service then. had a good breakfast with my father whom i miss very much but it's really...upsetting yet understandable how we cannot seem to bridge with each other no matter how we try to explain cos we each think we know best.
then, i went to the gym! am very glad for the $20 i paid because it has brought me so much enjoyment. i suppose people don't exercise on sunday afternoons cos the gym was pretty quiet. running while watching beyonce struts her stuff (on MTV lol) really clears one's mind, not to mention a nice hot shower to complete the endorphin rush.
ate my lunch while watching the traffic go by and reading my new agatha christie mystery novel Towards Zero. felt very composed and happy and uplifted and thought that perhaps life does have meaning after all. you know, raffles place is very, very deserted on sundays, completely unlike the days we have to work. even aries where i wanted to buy a hairband from was closed! anyway, i made my way to the tiled pavements just beside caltex house and sat myself comfortably cross-legged, closed my eyes, lifted my head and felt the sun warming my face. it's a wonderful wonderful feeling. it's hard to describe - when you look up you see, surrounding you, all the tall buildings - and you feel so cheerfully ordinary. i still can't imagine going back to the same place tomorrow because on mondays (and the rest of the weekdays)...it's so different. it's a different sort of magic.
and to my surprise, although i reached suntec at 455pm, i managed to sit in the auditorium! praise and worship was very personal, cos it's just you and God, and anyway you don't know the people sitting beside you. and it was pastor prince today with a back to basics sermon. strangely, i have missed You so much Lord, though i know You are always with me.
dinner with my father when i got home, and a much much comforting call across the ocean, a continent away, how we can remain so like-minded when we are so far apart, i miss you so much.
ordinarily i hate writing such posts cos they are so expository and i rather dislike people knowing what i do. but this is to remind myself of how, sometimes, being alone is the best state of being.
i have had a great day :)
current mood:  good
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 20th, 2007
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10:57 pm - three.
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While i was bored a couple of months ago,
I thought about it.
If anyone is all of these 3 - that is,
- Sick
- Poor
- Alone
The person is better off dead.
current mood:  awake
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 19th, 2007
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10:48 pm - let the music heal your soul
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Much needed restful day :) Thank You, Lord.
I was listening to music on my com and realised,
my friends have pretty good taste!
They send me songs
That aren't bubblegum pop, my staple
And it turns out that
These songs are really good!
I really, really like
and can listen repeatedly to
Private Emotion,
What a Feeling,
Beautiful Girl,
Answering Machine,
Traffic and Weather,
and Someone to Love.
Did you know that Lucifer was the angel of music?
I'm so glad God is control and makes music to be the beautiful thing it actually is.
current mood: calm
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, May 11th, 2007
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12:34 am - 3 days.
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Times like these, i've got my heart full of things to say but i can't find the words because of...incapability i suppose. I'm not very good, and i loathe every sentence i write that does not correspond exactly to how i feel. Out comes my trusty spiralbound notebook which will be discarded once its use expires.
In 3 weeks' time, please please please let's have some close communion i miss you very much. Thank God though for the people i am with now, they they make work a lot less unbearable. Nevertheless, i prefer to live meaninglessly and bum around for the last 3 month break i will ever get.
3 more weeks.
current mood:  listless
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 28th, 2007
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10:09 pm - anne anne anne :)
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Which LM Montgomery heroine are you?
Yes. I am like Valancy, who is the least beautiful of all the Montgomery heroines, who was destined to be an old maid until she asked (yes, she had to ask) a man to marry her at the ripe ol' age of 29. In the year 1929, 29 is very old indeed. The man did turn out to be her soulmate, but still, it's not the most romantic of all fairytales right. Certainly hope it's not prophetic LOL.
On a sidenote, life is good :)
Gloriously good.
Ever since exams ended on Monday,
I feel like i've been living in my very own blue castle.
Is it possible
To bottle this feeling up
And make it last forever?
current mood:  happy
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(34 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 21st, 2007
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11:19 pm - i hope you dance
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I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
To a very special person who is so dear,
Never give up and please do not fear.
We love you through and through,
Who cares about those who don't have a clue?
Whenever you feel dread in your heart,
Remember, our doors are never shut,
We're here always, to get you out of your rut. :)
current mood:  cold
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depressed
hot
